• Miscellany,  Publications

    Catching Up

    June 6, 2021

    Well, friends, it’s been awhile.

    The reason is, of course, that I’m exhausted. Like many writers I know of, writing has been hard this year. Most days, I’m just trying to get a few hours of sleep in a row (thank you, 15-month old), and five minutes alone during the day.

    It’s been a year of notable things, really. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things; a lot of heavy discussions; a lot of loss and grief that I’m not ready to write about yet. A lot of thoughts better left unsaid. But one thing that I did write out loud was a review of Jesus and John Wayne for Mere Orthodoxy. The review led to a rather…lively…discussion online, which some of you may have seen. It was, I think, ultimately, a good experience, though it has also had some pretty lasting negative impacts on me personally. I’ve had thoughts simmering about the experience since then, and if I can manage to organize them in a healthy way, I think I’ll write about it sometime soon.

    Otherwise, as I look back at these last months, I think what stands out is a profound need for rest and solitude. Earlier this year I read the book Quiet, by Susan Cain (I highly recommend it!). In one chapter, she writes about introverts needing to find “niches” of time and space where you can recharge during the day. And in a world where even my two-minute face-washing has become a loud and communal event, it sounds so nice and so…impossible.

    But amidst the exhaustion, there are dance parties (my kids all love Lord of the Dance, which is amazing) and teaching my daughter to read, learning to decorate a whole house in three months using Facebook Marketplace (oh, hey look! We opened a short-term rental in April!), listening to favorite audiobooks and watching Ted Lasso after bedtime. The exhaustion and sadness and worry from the last year cannot diminish the privilege of time with my family. My kids are small just once, and only for a little while. So I’m trying to make sure I can come out of my enneagram 5 shell long enough to enjoy them and invest in their little years. Which means there is very little energy left at the end of the day for other pursuits.

    Now that summer is here and the masks are off, though—in Minnesota, at least—the kids are playing outside and we’ve hired a babysitter so that I can help manage the rental better, and get some time alone. Which hopefully means you’ll be hearing more from me, either here or elsewhere. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for following!

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  • Miscellany

    At Home

    March 15, 2020

    I wish I had some novel thoughts about the novel virus sweeping the globe right now. You’d think that a blog about death and dying would have something to say about a pandemic. But I’ve read too much and have nothing to add to the conversation, or I’m too tired from feeding a newborn every 2–4 hours. Maybe both. My world feels very small right now; I have no big thoughts, and I think that’s okay.

    I can say two small things—but they’re not really related to death or dying. 

    First, I’m grateful that my church was able to livestream a service held in an empty sanctuary today. I haven’t been to church since the week before my littlest was born—so about a month. In fact, I’ve only been out of the house a number of times since then. We had the flu the week before he was born so I’ve basically been social distancing since before it was cool. So it was good to at least see church, and sing with the worship team from where I sat on the couch.

    Second, today I spent some time reading Psalm 23. I’m hoping to use these weeks with Michael home as an opportunity to re-boot some better habits of reading and meditation. Psalm 23 seems particularly helpful today. I’ll just post it here without any more comments. Maybe it will be a balm for you today too.

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  • Death and Dying,  Miscellany

    The Day After Halloween

    November 1, 2019

    Today is All Saints Day, according to the church calendar. As someone who grew up in low-church evangelicalism, I never quite knew what that meant. As someone who is still in a Baptist church, I still don’t know quite what it means. But I have to admit that I’m beginning to form an opinion about it. 

    Despite disagreements with Catholics regarding what happens to souls after death, I’m starting to see All Saints Day as an important and neglected part of church life. We don’t grieve well as a community, despite the fact that our mortality is a key part of both our spiritual and physical existence. We need to practice grieving together. We are fallen humanity, and death is our curse—passed down through Adam. All Saints Day is a day to remember this, and grieve it. But not just that. We have been redeemed by Christ, and even though we are “outwardly wasting away,” our spirits are being “renewed.”

    I think we often fail to sit with these two truths, and absorb what they actually mean. I think All Saints Day gives us a chance to do just this. 

    Do we think about what Christ’s death and resurrection means for our relationships? Not just our relationships with those who are living, but those who are dead in Christ? 

    Rob Moll surprised me in The Art of Dying by pointing out that “Those who have died are still with us as members of the body of Christ. Death has not severed that spiritual relationship. All is not over at our final breath, neither for the dead nor those still alive. The dead, of course, go on to a greater and fuller life with God. Those still alive, however, are not entirely severed from the great body of Christians no longer walking the earth” (Art of Dying, 166).

    After all, he points out, they’re merely “asleep in Christ.”

    Christ’s death purchased our union with him as fellow heirs, brothers and sisters. And it also purchased union with our fellow humans, though perhaps in a different way.

    Most of us know the passage below, from Hebrews 12. How does it strike you now, with this in mind?

    “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

    All Saints Day gives us a chance to do two things: 

    First, remember and grieve the brothers and sisters in Christ whose presence we miss and long to enjoy. This is a good and healthy practice. Death is real, and loss is hard. Remember our losses, mourn the sin that brought death to the human race, mourn your own sin, mourn the pain of sickness and separation. We need Christ.

    Second, rejoice, knowing that the dead in Christ—some of who are listed in Hebrews 11, some of whom are our parents, our children, our friends—are not separated from us in a permanent way. We are still, in a mysterious way, through the blood of Christ, in relationship with them—a relationship that will stretch into eternity.

    Hebrews, aside from stating that these saints are “witnesses,” gives us some guidance in how we might observe All Saints Day. The author says being surrounded by these faithful saints is not just a cause for lament and rejoicing. He says that recognizing them should propel us forward into more faithful living—clamoring to get out of the grip of sin, running the hard race before us with endurance: Since we are surrounded…therefore let us run with perseverance.

    Christ, of course, is the perfect example, and we should always look to him as the firstborn of creation, and the author and perfecter of our faith. But the saints along the way were not forgotten in Hebrews. Perhaps, All Saints Day is a chance to remember the saints along our way, knowing that their faith and their endurance can encourage us as we come along behind. If remembering the saints who have come before causes me to mourn sin, love Christ, and strive for holiness, I want to do it.

    Would you join me?

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  • Miscellany,  My Story

    Oh! And this happened.

    June 14, 2019

    I graduated!

    Well, I actually finished my MA in Catholic Studies in December, and I didn’t actually walk in commencement. But I did show up for the reception to take pictures with my friends in our caps and gowns.

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  • Miscellany,  My Story

    An Early Summer Update

    June 11, 2019

    I’m still here.

    It’s been awhile, and I’m eager to write. 

    Since I last wrote, we’ve taken our first family road trip to Denver. Both of the kids did well, and we will do it again. Days after we returned, we took a semi-unexpected trip to Washington (the state) for my grandmother’s funeral. I’ve also been attending a summer Bible study, and taught Ruth 1 for the group last week. It was a blessing to spend time in Scripture preparing, and to feel like I was using my gifts in a new way. 

    I was able to share some of my story in the lesson, and since it has been the most substantive thing I’ve written lately (or thought about, to be honest), I’ll be sharing it in pieces here on Unhurried Chase. 

    I’ve also been spending time with my husband, finishing the basement of our new house. We’re at the stage where everything crucial is “finished,” and we’re mostly just left with a mess and a lot of annoying things to finish, like breaking down boxes, filling nail holes, staining bookshelves, and touching up paint.

    It’s been lovely to have warm weather—the raspberries are bursting through their fences with green leaves and little nubs of growing berries. My garden is… surviving, mostly. I tried to grow wildflowers in the front, and something sure is growing! Unfortunately I have no idea if they’re weeds or flowers. And the stinging nettles survived the weed killer.

    My daughter is developing a passion for toad farming in her kiddie pool. Her record for toads caught in a day is three. Her best name so far, was Petunia Timber(something) Toadyroad, or Mrs. Toadyroad. We now enforce a strict no-kissing rule after I saw her bid a toad a passionate farewell a few days ago.

    My son is regularly wearing out the seat of his pants (he doesn’t crawl, he scoots), and winding up with grass in his diaper. He is all boy, and has a special joyful sound he save just for balls—even if they’re actually just light fixtures or the big red concrete balls outside of Target.

    So, while I’ve missed blogging, life has been full of things that make me so grateful for the place God has me right now. 

    I hope to be back soon!

    Jamie

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  • Cemeteries,  Death and Dying,  Miscellany

    An Unlikely Spot

    April 27, 2019

    One of my favorite things to do on sunny days is to wander around in old cemeteries. It’s not because I’m morbidly fascinated with death. No. I love them because they’re beautiful, full of history, and beneficial to my soul and spiritual life. Usually they’re well-cared for, orderly, green, and the monuments and headstones are beautiful. And more than that, they’re peaceful. Cemeteries are not parks. They’re quiet, solitary. What a beautiful place to walk, or settle on a bench or under a willow to think or pray.

    Cemeteries make me feel remarkably human. After all, they’re full of untold stories. They’re a reminder that people’s lives are full of joy and loss. I always imagine the funerals of the people interred—the stories their family and friends could tell about them. The sorts of stories my family tells when we reminisce about our past. The funny mishaps we got into or the jokes we played. There are whole lives buried in cemeteries; whole histories, represented by one headstone. The untold stories in cemeteries are various: the mannerisms and daily way of the deceased have been lost, but also the stories that were family legends, told and retold to endless delight. Stories of average people that were passed down to maybe the next generation or the next, but lost to the generations to come. You can just feel the line of generation after generation stretching back behind you, adding the perspective of history to your own struggles—maybe your problems aren’t as big of a deal as you thought. In fact, cemeteries remind me that maybe I’mnot as big of a deal as I thought. I’m humbled in cemeteries. They remind me that my story is just a small part of a much bigger story.

    In cemeteries, it’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to think of failure, longing, and mortality. It’s a good place to remember the dead, and mourn. And it’s a good chance to think of resurrection. Scripture talks of death as sleep, a waiting for resurrection. The dead in Christ are simply waiting. When we walk through cemeteries we can imagine what it will be like to greet the faithful believers who came before us or loved ones lost in our lifetime as brothers and sisters in Christ, in our new, resurrected bodies. Won’t that be a wonderful day? In cemeteries, we’re among family. And we can long with them for the day when Christ returns. I don’t know where their souls are, or what their experience is, but I know that they are waiting, like me, for the return of Christ. And in that waiting there is a sort of camaraderie and connection. We can groan in longing, with all of creation, including the dead in Christ, to be with Christ in the resurrection.

    Maybe it’s silly, but I also love to be happy in cemeteries. I think that when I am dead, I would want people to be happy around my grave. I think I want my grandchildren, my great-great-great-grandchildren, and those of strangers, to play hide-and-seek behind my headstone. And maybe it’s presumptuous, but I would assume others felt the same way. Why must the dead be alone? Bringing children to cemeteries, letting them play around the headstones, doesn’t feel disrespectful or improper to me. It’s a way of honoring the dead by not forgetting them, but bringing them into our daily lives. We remember that they are not simply corpses, but they were men and women, humans made in the image of God, with eternal souls.

    And, for my children, it’s a way of including the dead in their own lives. My hope for them, and this is probably worth another blog post, is that they will learn at an early age that life is a gift, and that it is short. I also want them to understand that souls are eternal, and that, as I said earlier, the body of Christ is made of saints both living and dead—we have a whole family from ages past that we will see and know in heaven after Christ’s return. The truths we believe as Christians are not just something we believe today, but they are old truths, things that have always been true, and always will be true. 

    So, the next time you need to, as Pooh says, “think, think, think,” try your local cemetery. And let me know how it goes.

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  • Miscellany

    Welcome!

    February 26, 2019

    I’m so glad you’re here! I’ll be posting some things in the next week—I’m still trying to test out the new website and get everything figured out! Thanks for coming!

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