Well, friends, it’s been awhile.

The reason is, of course, that I’m exhausted. Like many writers I know of, writing has been hard this year. Most days, I’m just trying to get a few hours of sleep in a row (thank you, 15-month old), and five minutes alone during the day.

It’s been a year of notable things, really. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things; a lot of heavy discussions; a lot of loss and grief that I’m not ready to write about yet. A lot of thoughts better left unsaid. But one thing that I did write out loud was a review of Jesus and John Wayne for Mere Orthodoxy. The review led to a rather…lively…discussion online, which some of you may have seen. It was, I think, ultimately, a good experience, though it has also had some pretty lasting negative impacts on me personally. I’ve had thoughts simmering about the experience since then, and if I can manage to organize them in a healthy way, I think I’ll write about it sometime soon.

Otherwise, as I look back at these last months, I think what stands out is a profound need for rest and solitude. Earlier this year I read the book Quiet, by Susan Cain (I highly recommend it!). In one chapter, she writes about introverts needing to find “niches” of time and space where you can recharge during the day. And in a world where even my two-minute face-washing has become a loud and communal event, it sounds so nice and so…impossible.

But amidst the exhaustion, there are dance parties (my kids all love Lord of the Dance, which is amazing) and teaching my daughter to read, learning to decorate a whole house in three months using Facebook Marketplace (oh, hey look! We opened a short-term rental in April!), listening to favorite audiobooks and watching Ted Lasso after bedtime. The exhaustion and sadness and worry from the last year cannot diminish the privilege of time with my family. My kids are small just once, and only for a little while. So I’m trying to make sure I can come out of my enneagram 5 shell long enough to enjoy them and invest in their little years. Which means there is very little energy left at the end of the day for other pursuits.

Now that summer is here and the masks are off, though—in Minnesota, at least—the kids are playing outside and we’ve hired a babysitter so that I can help manage the rental better, and get some time alone. Which hopefully means you’ll be hearing more from me, either here or elsewhere. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for following!