“For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty;
Yet their span is but toil and trouble;
They are soon gone, and we fly away.
Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?
So teach us to number our days
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
And for as many years as we have seen evil.”
Psalm 90:9–15
O, Lord. Who am I, but dust and ashes?
Sometimes the fragility of life just seems overwhelming. Our false hopes come to light, our co-worker’s stillbirth didn’t mean that our pregnancy would be healthy. Our good news is overshadowed by someone else’s bad news. That’s what happened to me today, and I am feeling my fallen, dusty nature.
After two weeks of uncertainty and anxiety, yesterday I came home from the doctor feeling relieved and hopeful. Today, I found out that someone in a parallel phase of life received devastating news and had her life turned upside-down.
Sometimes, life feels like an affliction, either ours or someone else’s. Our lives are destined for death, either before or after “seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty” years of suffering and toil. Sin must be really terrible to deserve this sort of curse.
Of course, all of the other parts of the gospel story are still true. This curse is the one that Jesus bore. This curse is the one that he conquered on the cross and in the tomb. This curse is the one that will be forever made right when he returns.
And yet right here, right now, all I can do, and maybe you too, is cry and say with the psalmist:
“Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants.
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
And for as many years as we have seen evil.”
Amen. Let it be so.
I know this is an incredibly vague post. It’s vague for privacy, both mine and the other person mentioned here. I’m fine, really. Grief is good, and so is lament. It’s good to sit here for awhile.
